Fight Club

The lovely Marla (Foxtrot) Singer

Today I am going to my first session in group therapy. I am taking the next few days off school to go to this. I am absolutely terrified. Many of my "peers" in this group are going to be part of in-patient program at this mental heath hospital. I feel like a real loony, but at least I get to go home at the end of the night.
I'll try to make it fun, I'll pretend I'm the narrator from Fight Club and I go to these deals because I need it for sleep. Holy shit.
The whole reason I'm going to group therapy is because I sleep too much. I'm going so they can tell me if it is a psychological problem, and the narrator in Fight Club went to support groups because they cured his sleep problem. As if it wasn't enough that I look like his woman, Marla Singer(Helena Bonham Carter), and my boyfriend looks like Tyler Durden(Brad Pitt)
Well that settles it. Thats too big of a coincidence for me to not believe it. My life is just one big Chuck Palahnuik novel.

Artfucks

So many of us artists are absolutely tortured by our own minds. You have your Plaths, your Van Goghs your Hemmingways, your Woolfs. I think about these people when I'm feeling down. They don't inspire me. It's what comes with the territory. When you become an artist you can expect to feel pain. If you don't, your art isn't very good. The best art is soul-wrenching, gut-heaving, tear-filled, desperate expression. The rest is fake and just for profit and fame.

Either way, I think about them, and although I'm not inspired, its nice to know that I'm in good company. I've hit more than my fair share of ultimate lows, and its comforting to think that some amazing people before me felt the exact same way.
Tonight has been a low night. My boyfriend is going to leave me because I depress him, which depresses me more. Its a vicious, but most of all stupid cycle. Why do I let men make me feel this way? I wish I wasn't such a romantic.
Thanks to Daniel Johnston for comforting me.











I'll never be as crazy/cool as you.